[potential trigger warning] After a particularly disturbing drama with a certain family member on facebook, I thought it was a good time to write these. You have the right to walk away. You have the right to moderate and delete hurtful comments on your own facebook page. And most importantly, you never have to put up abusive behaviour especially from family members!!
1. “I’m just telling the truth” or “it’s just my opinion”
They like to think their opinion can never be offensive or harmful. This logic leaves them free to say anything however they want without fear of reprisal or being called out.
2. “You asked for my opinion and I’m just giving it to you”
This brings it back to you as if you invited them to say hurtful things.
3. “Don’t you have more important things to worry about”
The abuser acts as though your opinions, thoughts, actions or concerns are trivial or don’t count.
4. “You’re attacking me!”
If you do choose to respond or call out this unacceptable behaviour, often an abusive person will suddenly flip and tell you that you are attacking them when they are just trying to ‘share’ their opinion. In their mind, they are being attacked and this justifies any response.
5. ”You *choose* to let words hurt you” or “You’re too sensitive”
And finally, more bluntly, they think you’re actually the one to blame because you’re *letting* them hurt you. You have the right to be the final judge of your feelings and accept them as legitimate. If you’re hurting, you’re hurting and don’t let anyone tell you to toughen up.
I can imagine I’ll be told to “stop being so dramatic” for reblogging.